


Can't Find Another Reason To Stay

by xjinniehyunx



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Depression, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:13:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xjinniehyunx/pseuds/xjinniehyunx
Summary: Where Taehyun can't think of anything to hold on to, and Yeonjun reminds him.
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun & Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Kudos: 61





	Can't Find Another Reason To Stay

*Sniffle* *Sniffle*

Again. Taehyun was crying _again._ How many times is he going to do this? He has already lost count of how many times he has done it this week alone.

All he did was get a bit too lost in his thoughts and now here he was, having a breakdown.

_'I can't do anything right. God,_ _I_ _can NEVER do anything right.'_

Honestly Taehyun has been going through a lot for a while now. But recently things have just been getting worse way too quickly for Taehyun to keep up. He hasn't had time to wind down like he used to, and now he's in too deep.

_'I don't even deserve to be here,_ _I_ _can't anymore,_ _I_ _can't go on like this...'_

He was currently in his room, alone (both fortunately and unfortunately for him). Kai was in Soobin and Beomgyu's shared room to watch a movie. By now they have all probably fallen asleep though. And Yeonjun was in his room, probably asleep too. It was pretty late, but of course Taehyun's mind _loves_ to play with him at the _worst_ times. And the longer Taehyun stayed like this, the worse his breakdown got, now full on sobbing. He put his hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds of sadness coming out of him.

No matter how bad things got, he _never_ wanted anyone else to find out. Taehyun didn't want to be a burden to anyone on the team, especially because of how happy they have been recently. And they have every right to be; their promotions went well and they got two awards. What is there not to be happy about?

But of course, Taehyun always found a way to bring himself down.

And he didn't want to think about it,

_'Just make it stop, how do_ _I_ _make it stop?'_

but what else could he think of in this moment?

_'I just want it to end...'_

Taehyun finally collected himself and got off his bed. He put on a hoodie and stepped out of his room. He walked past the living room, seeing Yeonjun still awake watching TV, though he didn't speak up in order to try and go unnoticed. He was slipping on his shoes thinking he was home free when-

"Hey hyunnie."

_'Ugh, what do you want?'_

"Hey hyung." Taehyun continues to put on his shoes.

"Where are you going? It's really late." Yeonjun was now off the couch, walking towards Taehyun. 

"Hyung don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You wont have to worry about me anymore..." Taehyun mumbles the last sentence now that Yeonjun is right in front of him. He is finally done putting his shoes on and stands up, now looking Yeonjun in the eyes. Yeonjun also sees now that Taehyun's eyes were red and a bit swollen.

"Hey are you okay hy-"

"Yes hyung I'm okay, just leave me alone." Taehyun tried to move but Yeonjun grabbed onto his arm.

"Taehyun what's wrong?"

"Hyungie it's nothing please just leave me alone-"

"Taehyun stop that. What's the problem? Tell me p-"

"Hyung just stop!"

"Kang Taehyun!"

They both now looked at each other with eyes filled with emotion; Yeonjun with anger and concern while Taehyun with overwhelming sadness. This was too much.

"Hyungie _please..._ just leave me alone." At this point Taehyun was about to break.

"Taehyun-ah tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me." Yeonjun cupped Taehyun's face with his free hand, slightly loosening the grip on Taehyun's arm. Both of their gazes have now softened.

Taehyun just got on his toes and hugged Yeonjun (obviously with one arm). Yeonjun let go of Taehyun altogether before wrapping his arms around the smaller boy.

"There is nothing to be scared about hyung. Just please, if you trust me you'll let me go." Taehyun was now cupping Yeonjun' face.

_'Ah, fuck it.'_

He then leaned in and gave Yeonjun a kiss on the cheek. Just a soft, sweet one. Taehyun moved back and looked Yeonjun in the eyes, though this time he felt a bit better than before. He said nothing before walking past Yeonjun and out the door, leaving a slightly stunned hyung behind.

"T-"

Yeonjun couldn't even mutter out his name before the door closed.

Though Taehyun asked to leave him alone, Yeonjun really wouldn't forgive himself if anything happened to Taehyun. So after a quick peak out the door to barely see Taehyun's red hair turn the corner, Yeonjun quickly slipped on a hoodie and shoes and followed behind him.   
  


Taehyun was _so_ thankful that it was late at night because there weren't many people out. And the ones that were out simply minded their business. _'Prefect'_ he thought. Now he was crying again. The tears he held back in front of Yeonjun were finally free, streaming down his eyes non-stop. This was finally going to come to an end.

After a while Taehyun made it to Banpo Bridge. He found a spot he liked and stopped. Taehyun then just relaxed and let the tears fall, though now there was a smile on his face.

After a while he took off his shoes and climbed over the ledge so he was now sitting on it. One move and he-  
  


Yeonjun saw that Taehyun just came to the bridge to relax. He let out a sigh of relief, not realizing what what going to happen next. Then he saw Taehyun take off his shoes.

_'Fuck'_

Yeonjun then sprinted towards where Taehyun was sitting on the ledge, not wanting anything else to happen. As he got closer, he saw Taehyun move forward, getting more and more off the ledge.

_'Fuckfuckfuckfuck'_

And _thankfully_ _,_ before Taehyun had actually fallen, Yeonjun quickly and forcefully grabbed him and pulled him back onto the bridge. He pulled him with enough force to bring Taehyun to the ground, though Yeonjun pulled him right up on his feet.

"Taehyun what the hell?! The fuck are you doing doing you could've died-"

"That's the point hyung-"

"Stop that now! Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Why, Taehyun, why?!" Yeonjun now had tears falling out of his eyes as he shook Taehyun while he spoke.

"Just let me die hyung." He replied emotionless. Taehyun was now trying to get out of Yeonjun's grip to go back to the ledge.

"No! Hyunnie please, just stop!" Yeonjun held him even tighter.

"Argh, hyung WHY?! Why can't you just let me be? I have nothing else going for me right now. Why won't you let me find peace?" Taehyun was now full on sobbing.

"Because I'm not giving up on you. Trust me hyunnie, _this,"_ Yeonjun looked at the ledge and back at Taehyun, "isn't the answer. It never is."

Taehyun looked at Yeonjun before falling to his knees, not being able to hold himself together anymore.

"So what is the answer? Please, tell me because I don't know what to do anymore." Taehyun mumbled. Yeonjun immediately fell to his knees and hugged Taehyun, the younger not wasting any moment to grab onto him. They held each other close, not wanting either of them away from the other.

After a while Yeonjun finally spoke up saying, "C'mon baby, let's go home. We can talk there." Taehyun moved back enough to look at Yeonjun and nodded, slowly rising to his feet. He felt Yeonjun hold his hand as he grabbed Taehyun's shoes for him. They then finally got off the bridge and were on their way back to the dorm, a very long talk awaiting them.

Once they finally got home, Yeonjun and Taehyun went straight to Yeonjun's room. Yeonjun laid down on his bed and opened his arms for Taehyun to lay in. And Taehyun complied, lying in his arms with his head on Yeonjun's chest. After some silent cuddling, Taehyun began.

"I don't know hyung, I used to be able to handle it, keeping it in and all. But it's just gotten worse too quickly and everything just fell apart for me. And seeing how happy you guys have been, I couldn't bring it up because I didn't want to be selfish and take that happiness away. So I couldn't think of anything other than ending it all." Taehyun played with Yeonjun's shirt while Yeonjun slowly pet his soft red hair. After a sigh from Taehyun indicating that he was done talking, Yeonjun spoke up.

"Okay, first of all, killing yourself is never the answer, okay? Promise me you will never even _think_ of doing that Taehyunnie." Yeonjun brought up his hand, sticking out his pinky finger for Taehyun to see.

"Really hyung? A pinky promise? What are we, five?"

"I'm serious Taehyun. Now promise me."

Taehyun let out another sigh before bringing his hand up to hook his pinky with Yeonjun's. "Fine hyung, I _pinky promise._ "

"Thank you. Plus, you are never too old for a pinky promise." Yeonjun said, causing Taehyun to let out a giggle. He kept their hands linked before continuing.

"Now, I understand the mindset you are in. Trust me, I've been there more times than I'd like to admit. But when this happens, you don't have to keep it to yourself. If no one else, you can _always_ come to me. I will always be here for you. Even in my happiest moments, I will always be willing to drop everything to help you, okay? We have known each other the longest, so we kinda owe it to ourselves to be there for each other. And I'm so sorry for not doing a good job as your hyung, I should've been there for you when you needed me. So from now on, anytime you feel like you need someone, I'm here with open arms."

Taehyun sniffled. "Okay hyung."

"And you are too good to die. You have an amazing voice, you are so smart, you are talented and _God,_ you are so, so beautiful, inside and out. You are such a perfect human being, it's hard to believe you even _are_ human. And to top it all off, you are like the glue for this team. Hell, if you were gone, everything would go south so quickly. We need you as much as you need us. So you are never alone, remember that."

"Yes hyung." Taehyun now lifted his head and looked up at Yeonjun. "And I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Hyunnie, you don't need to apologize for anything, okay? We will get through this together." Yeonjun let go of Taehyun's hand and brought his arm over Taehyun's torso, bringing Taehyun back to his original position and holding him tighter.

"Hyung?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

Yeonjun placed a gentle kiss on Taehyun's head, holding the smaller boy even tighter.

"I love you too baby. I love you so much."

**Author's Note:**

> Argh this is so sad omg. hope you enjoyed it and tysm for reading! <3


End file.
